In this blogpost, I’m going to talk about a subject that is not too commonly discussed. But it’s SO damn important, because it can really affect the quality of our romantic relationships. And the topic is: Karmic relationships.
Now, if you’re new to karma and don’t quite know how it’s created, or how it gets lodged in our system, I have 2 amazing blogposts that explain this whole deal in depth right here ("What does karma mean?"), and here ("Past life karma: what is it and how can I heal it?"). So, be suuuure to check those out after you finish reading this one.
If you want to check out this blogpost in Video format, click on the link below:
So first, let's define what “karmic relationships” mean. And then, let's talk about the foremost telling red flag that signals you’re stuck in the middle of one.
What are “karmic relationships”?
Human beings, because we’re mostly made up of energy, act like magnets. Remember: 1 physical body, 7 energetic bodies (read this blogpost for a quick fresh up). We’re attracting people into our lives ALL the time. And whoever we’re paired up with, for good or for bad, is not random.
That toxic relationship you’ve had with your partner, three boyfriends in a row. That friend (a different one in middle school, high school and then college) who’s excessively dominating, and doesn't feel comfortable with you taking up space. That family member who you’re always trying to rescue from themselves. These bonds are not coincidental.
And no: these people are not in your life because you suck. Or because life sucks. Or because a higher force wants to punish you. Nah-ah. If you’re noticing a pattern of constantly attracting people that make you feel like *****urghshhshs*****, it might be because of karma. Meaning, it might be because you have negative emotional energy (created in this life... or in past lives) stuck inside your system, that is acting as a magnet to attract specific people and dynamics into your surroundings.
Now, karmic relationships abound: most human beings are attracting others into their lives (friends, coworkers, clients, partners, etc) because of this “bad” karma magnet that lies inside of them. However, I want to keep this blogpost short and snappy. So today, I'll be focusing on karmic romantic relationships only. If you’d like me to explain other karmic dynamics in a future blogpost - friendships, work colleges or family (uuuuu, that’s a big one) - let me know in the comments.
Love or karma: the 2 main romantic magnets.
2 people are pulled into a romantic relationship, literally like magnets, because of 2 energies: the energy of love. Or the energy of karma. Now, I know: In real life, it’s so hard to recognize which one is tugging us, because we’ve been socialized to believe any strong emotion means love.
Most of what we're shown in the media is not "love". Not from an energetic point of view, at least.
To be “in love” - connected by the energy of love - with someone doesn’t only mean to be suuuuuper attracted to that person. Yes, love is a binding force. And it will have that “tugging effect” too. But what is very specific about the energy of love is it’s other side effect: the feeling of infinite expansion it brings about.
This means that, when you’re linked to a partner mainly through the energy of love, you feel you’re not only super attracted to them... but you also have that inner knowing that that relationship will allow you to grow and grow into a better version of yourself. That you’ll be able to “infinitely expand”.
When we’re in a love-bonded relationship, we actually like ourselves better. The more beautiful parts of our being - our joy, our compassion, our sweetness - come out to the surface more regularly to say “hi”. And we feel freer in our own bodies, even though we might be hanging out with them 24/7.
This is not to say that things in a love-bonded relationship are perfect. Of course not! There’s fights. There’s disagreements. There are hard moments. Sometimes, plenty. But, underneath it all, love allows the feeling of growth to be there, which is what allows us to make it through the tough times.
Now, karma-bound relationships are a very different animal.
The tricky thing is: Karma also pulls. It pulls pretty hard, actually. It is totally possible to feel super attracted to another person. Day dream about them. Want to be near them all the time… and then feel small, contracted and uncomfortable, like you’re not fully in your own skin, when you’re around them.
Of course, there are varying degrees of karmic bonds.
Some are just like fully, explicitly toxic. You feel something’s off by week 2 of starting your romance. Every fiber of your body is telling you they’re not good for you. But the reason you might have trouble leaving their toxic butt is because the karmic bond is so strong.
On the other hand, some karmic bonds are iffy and grey. There’s just a hint of love that’s binding you. Which makes you feel, on some level, like you’re being taken care of, protected or nourished. But, for the most part, you feel constrained in that relationship. Like there’s something blocking you from expressing your full being.
And that is the most telling sign of whether you’re in a karmic romantic relationship or not. It’s not about attraction. Cuz both karma and love have an equally strong pull, so that’s not a good indicator. The real red flag is how expanded and comfortable (or not) you feel in your own skin when you’re around your partner.
How to know if you're in a karmic relationship (or not)?
If after reading this, you're panicking, wondering if you're in a karmic relationship or not... don't. Just ask yourself these questions, as a self reflection exercise:
- Do I like myself better when I’m with my partner? Or do I feel more like myself when I’m around other people (or alone).
- How does my body feel when I’m with my partner: tight, constricted and with little hint of dread? Or open-chested, relaxed and excited?
Don't just do it once. Asking yourself, over and over again. At least once per week during a couple of months. Your answers will start telling how you really feel about this romantic bond. And whether there is karmic healing to be done, or not.
And if you want to learn how to heal karma, I highly recommend you sign up to this FREE online masterclass called "Karmic Energy: what is it & how do I heal it?". There, I'll teach you DIY tips, so you can start healing whatever karma is bonding you, today.